American Idol 8 Auditions: Kansas City

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Time to pull out your guy liner, hair plugs and wallet chains! American Idol is in Kansas City, Missouri, the land where any pudgy bartender can become a rawk stah! No experience or talent needed.

The show started off with some blonde girl who went on and on about how much “emotion” she had in her voice, building us up to think she’d be really good….and she was really bad. I mean, really really bad. The guys laughed and said she sounded like sirens and cats. Well, she did.

Ashlee Anderson
She sang “Footsteps In the Sand” by Leona Lewis, co-written by Simon Cowell….and got the words wrong. Smart move. Um, don’t sing Leona. Just like you shouldn’t sing Whitney or Mariah. This girl had a mediocre pop voice, although her head tones were pretty. All four judges said yes, I’m not sure why, I probably would’ve said no.

Kacey Carlson
What’s up with all these giddy, annoying little girls? She had a weave like Lacey Schwimmer and she sang “A Thousand Miles”, one of the most annoying songs of the decade. I can see what the judges were saying when they said they see her as a “package” but her vocal chops were just like the first girl; painfully mediocre.

Ryan ???
He sang “Freedom” by Aretha Franklin. In his interview he said he was classically trained in opera….uh, then what happened? He didn’t sound good at all, on top of just being schmaltzy and over the top.

Von Smith
Ugh. I’ve loathed this kid since I first saw him on youtube singing like a woman and I loathed his audition tonight. At least he sounds a bit more masculine now, but he SHOUTED his way through “Over the Rainbow”. The sad part is that he actually has a voice and if he sang softly he’d be good. Hopefully someone will tell him to give the theatrics a backseat.

Michael Castro
Wow, it’s like “let’s bring back all the annoying season 7 contestants” night. So, Jason Castro’s brother, who acts and looks exactly like him but with even worse hair, auditions singing “I’m In Love With A Girl”. He said he started singing twenty days before the audition, in other words he’s just trying to cash in. I didn’t particularly like his voice, but he wasn’t awful and if people like Jason can make it through, there’s no reason why he can’t either.
That’s one weird family.

Matt
Here we go, another good hearted working class family man with a southern accent or something. Snore. Average, and I’m surprised Simon didn’t see that. Wait, no I’m not.

Jessica Furney
She sang “Cry Baby” by Janis Joplin and had a surprisingly strong voice, although her audition wasn’t perfect.

India & Asia
Rapping sisters, love it! Who else thinks AI is ready for rappers? Yeah, me neither. Well they were amusing when they rapped but when they sang? Not so much. The shorter girl did make it through. She was better, and her voice was decent, but eh.

Jamar Rogers
He’s a bartender, perfect! And he’s loud, but apparently the judges seem to like that this season. Oye, my ear buds are going to blow out before the end of this season.

Danny Gokey
First big sob story of the season: his wife died four weeks before the audition. But he was actually pretty good. I’m not sure if I liked him or not, there was something kind of annoying about his personality, but he had that groove down pat.

Anoop Desai
Wow, it looks like “Thank You” is suddenly the hot audition song, who would’ve thunk it. He wasn’t bad though. More soul. Soul seems to be really popular this season. And he looks like Ray Ramano.

Andrew Lang
…..the heck was that?? So this guy comes in with two weird cheerleaders, which didn’t help at all if you ask me. He sang “My Girl” and it was just meh. Didn’t get a ticket for Hollywood, thankfully.

Asa Barnes
High school band teacher who sang “The Way You Make Me Feel”. He was pretty good!

Michael Nicewonder
He thought it was a good idea to sing an original song. That’s NEVER a good idea. But his voice was awful so it wouldn’t have mattered anyways.

Dennis
He sang “With You” by Chris Brown. Eh, he struck me as a major wanna be pop star type. Apparently Simon was the only one conscious during this audition. Can not believe that kid got a ticket through.

Mia Conley
Wooow, awful weave and make up.

Lil Rounds
So here we have the last contestant in KC. This girl is my age (23 years old) and has three kids. Couldn’t imagine that. She has a really solid R&B voice, and her outfit was cute too. Simon called her “Fantastic”. I’d be surprised if she didn’t make the top 36.