Pure Gold From TiderInsider … Enjoy

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I saw this post on Tider Insider, and it was just entirely too awesome to pass up posting. I really, really hope this wasn’t tongue-in-cheek. Please GOD, let it be true. Seriously, this is the pinnacle of hilarity. I cried real tears. Just beautiful. Everything is awesome — the taunting of a child, the reason for his trip to the mall, the gangrene. It’s all just pure gold. Without further delay … enjoy!

“I was going to Lidz to get a new cowboy hat made out of a Keystone Lite box and 15 more shakers to put all around my CRIMSON Bike coaching shorts for the game Saturday. I’m about to walk out, and a man and his 7 year old son were walking in, all decked out in Big Orange.

“This is UT, folks, so I cut right to the chase. I ran up to them, yelling Yea Alabama at the top of my lungs, and shook a shaker right in that kid’s face. He was terrified!!! Then I told them both that Nick Saben had a little something for them all tomorrow night, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we won by 100. Then I told the kid that I heard Gerald Jones caught gangrene in his sprained ankle and was probably going to get it amputated. I figured he didn’t know what amputated means, so I said, “THEY’RE GOING TO CUT HIS FOOT OFF, VILE! RAMMER JAMMER!!!” What can you say to that? Nothing if you’re a toothless hillbilly. They both walked away looking dejected, muttering under their breath.”

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